The Secret Handshake.  Hand Embroidery 32cm x 46 cm.

When I was younger I went to the Methodist chapel in the village.  Sometimes visiting lay preachers from the surrounding area would come and give sermons.  After the service it was customary for everybody to shake the hand of the person who had just given the service and heartily congratulate them on their insight for Jesus.  I shook this mans hand and to my horror he did a perverted tickle in the palm of my hand in a way that nobody else could see, while we were standing in a crowd of people from the congregation and gave me the most disgusting knowing look which chills my soul when ever I think about it.  We brush with danger everywhere it seems.  I was listening to radio 6 and just caught Mary  Anne Hobbs quoting somebody, I did n't hear who, but it was something like this:

"If we fall in love with our shadow, we atrophy"

Makes me think of the painting Echo and Narcissus by John William Waterhouse.

I spend to much time thinking about bad past memories, I admit, but then I think we can use that memory, work through it and use it to propel us where we want to be, and then not focus on that particular shadow, because there will be space for something new.  I am making space for the new here. Thats it.  Done and dusted with this one, but if I ever see him again I will tell him he is a pervy, predatory, bastard.